How Mobile Phones Ruined All Of Our Lives
Phones. Most of us have a love hate relationship with that little handheld screen. We love getting good news by text, hate getting dumped; love finding that perfect summer look, hate the hours wasted waiting for someone to reply once the two ticks have gone blue…famous film guy Steven Spielberg made a good point when he said that “technology can be our best friend, and technology can also be the biggest party pooper of our lives.” But how much has handheld tech really ruined things?
Adventures in autocorrect
You know what you want to say but your phone has other ideas e.g. you want to write “let’s get pizza,” your phone goes with “let’s get paint” – the worst. Cue hilarious (although often not at the time) text conversations littered with completely inappropriate words that can be seriously inflammatory. Always seems to be at its worst in the early hours…
If we didn’t have mobile phones ghosting wouldn’t be a thing, pure and simple. Instead of just ‘declining’ a call or putting the phone to one side, people tempted to ghost would have to actually physically run away. Harder to do without instant repercussion and way less dignified. But with phones we can just suddenly disappear. One minute sharing surfing dog GIFs and Snapchat filtered shots, the next…gone.
When your charger cable starts to fray
…at exactly the same point in exactly the same place at exactly the same time as the last one did. You know there’s no return from this point. You can use all the electrical tape you want but you’ll be living in constant fear that one day it won’t work, and then the phone won’t charge and then…you’ll be Without Phone. Consequently realising how dependent you are on your phone can put a real downer on things.
The deafening silence of the two blue ticks (or similar ‘read’ receipts)
You can see that the person you’ve messaged has read it. There could be an innocent explanation for the lack of reply. You know that the sensible move here is to put the phone down, go out, get some fresh air and live your life…but you can’t. You just can’t. The phone must be checked every five minutes. Perhaps you’ll just stare at the message screen until you see ‘typing.’ You could lose hours – days – in this way. Or you could just order a pizza and remind yourself how bad their jokes were and how much you hated their smelly shoes.
The easy dump
Oh our phones have provided so many new and ingenious ways to end a relationship. No more awkward face-to-face tear stained chats, just the anonymity of a phone call or – worse – a text. Although some people have been pretty creative in their phone dumping. Kirsten Titus from Utah, for example, made a Spotify playlist for her no-longer-wanted boyfriend with song titles that read ‘Do you still want to kiss me because I am kinda loving someone else but we can still be friends.’ Smart. We say, if you’re going to dump someone – and you don’t want them to hate you afterwards – do it with a delicious pizza, not a playlist. Good vibes only.
The selfie injury
When you’re trying to take a selfie lying down and drop the phone on your face. Hello busted nose/cheekbone.
The accidental selfie
Phone cameras are great – capturing nights out, sunrises, holidays and fun in high definition. Unfortunately, they also sometimes catch you unawares, from a terrible angle, when you’re sleepily fumbling with the screen. Didn’t realise you had six chins and a giant spot on your neck? Well you do now.
We wouldn’t be without our phones and when we really think about it they’re actually not so bad. Fun filters, face time, social media and apps of course – if it wasn’t for our phones we wouldn’t be able to order pizza in bed (via the Papa Johns app). Maybe all the autocorrect fails and text dumping are worth it after all if you can have a tasty hot slice delivered direct to your duvet.